Journey of a Thousand Miles

Today ended up being a better Monday than I expected. It started off slow and gloomy. I had no motivation for work, no motivation for my goals, I was feeling sad about my breakup, and I just wanted to stay in bed. I guess cloudy days can do that. Then I met with my new mentor from church, and she changed everything! We talked about everything: my recent breakup (she encouraged me that this was a GREAT idea, and she's glad I'm no longer with him), mission trips, different cultures/religions, the differences between men and women, the hardships of marriage and children. It gave me perspective that I am exactly where I need to be. I am now ok with being single. I have the time I need to accomplish the goals on my heart, and I thank God that He is giving me this time in His ultimate wisdom. He truly knows what's best for me, and He knows that the demands of being a wife and mother would pull me away from my music, the book I want to write, and the business I want to start. I ...

Put your blinders on and fight your own race. Stop comparing yourself to others. You don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to have all the answers. Don't allow someone's actions to control your reactions. Continue to fight the good fight and keep your faith even if you're mad at God. Even when it appears that all is dead, that's when the roots are going the deepest. God is helping us depend on Him alone through this. Use the pain and life lessons. Speak truth to yourself. God will not waste this pain. Somehow he will use it. Show me how to respond to this pain. Keep doing what is right despite what other people do. Refuse to give up your trust in God when the going gets tough. Don't lose the grand finale of your life. When you're broken, be still and know that He is God. No one's actions can cancel out God's call on your life. Faith, hope, and love last forever. The greatest is love. Satan's tactic is t...

Never marry for mercy. Don't marry for fear of hurting someone. It is NOT SELFISH to want to make a wise marital choice. Why should your children suffer from you not choosing the right father? It's not your life to give away. You need to think of the best stewardship of what God has given you. Why would you give it up for a pity marriage? Being tired of being single is NOT a good reason to get married. It's better to wait and make a wise choice. Sometimes the best way to find a good marital match is to end a bad dating match. Marrying well is a good witness to the world.

Going outside of God's will is a disaster. It is God's will to be sanctified, to avoid sexual immorality. Sexual ability is not what brings a marriage down. Your first priority is to marry a godly spouse. The same God who tells a girlfriend to say no to having sex with her boyfriend is the same God who tells a wife to say yes to having sex with her spouse. Guys, you want a girlfriend who will displease you to please God. If they don't obey God BEFORE marriage, they won't obey God AFTER marriage. If they can't sacrifice for a couple years of dating, they're not worth a lifetime of marriage. You're not obligated to carry someone else's sexual baggage. But once you marry them, you have to forgive their past and let it go. When you marry a godly person, there's forgiveness and grace. A person who's a giver and not a taker will figure out how to please you. You don't need to "try it out" before you buy it.

What draws us to someone won't always make a good marriage. Just because someone wants to marry doesn't mean they have what it takes. Character Traits that Build a Spiritually Enriching Marriage Spectacular Parent- You are choosing the mother/father of your future children. Can Handle Conflict- Marriage will make you angry. Handle it wisely with grace. Conflict handled unbiblically will tear you apart.  Stonewalling- shuts down, silent treatment Violence- disastrous; one strike, he's out Someone who prays- God is actively involved in their life. You need to marry a prayer warrior. If they never talk about God, they never talk to God. (But even they do talk about God, that doesn't mean that they talk to God). There's not a day within marriage where you won't need prayer. You will need prayer more than sex, so focus more on their spiritual life than their sexiness or physical looks.  Someone who forgives- We will stumble in many ways. Grace makes th...

Marriage is a difficult pursuit. You might have to put in some effort or change something. Let it be a passionate pursuit. We can actively pursue a spouse; we don't have to sit back and wait passively for a spouse to come along. Search intentionally for a spouse. Seeking a spouse is not idolization. You may have to show interest in a guy for him to step up and ask you out. He needs to show SOME ability to pursue. Don't marry a passive man. Make yourself more marriageable. Where do I need to grow as a person? Spend what it takes, whether that's counseling or other resources.

Nowhere in the Bible does it say we have a "soulmate" or have to find "the One." Marriage isn't to be an idol to complete ourselves. Marriage shouldn't compete with God. Beauty is fleeting. Find someone who is set on pleasing the Lord. We are free to marry anyone we wish, only in the Lord. The choice to get married and who we marry is up to us. Rather than seeking a soulmate, seek a sole mate. A man who doesn't love God is limited in his ability to love you. You need a man who is controlled by the Holy Spirit. We need to marry someone who knows how to forgive. Don't try to 2nd guess God's design.

You can't possibly know the circumstances you're going to face in your future marriage. You can choose who you face those trials with. A good marital choice is a gift that keeps on giving. A foolish and ill-considered marital choice is a bad investment. You will always face the consequences. Marriage should lift 2 people up to be better than they could be as singles. Listen to the words of Jesus when choosing a mate. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. God has our best interests at heart. 3 Wrong Reasons to Get Married Sexual chemistry Romantic infatuation Relational compatibility These don't keep a marriage going. Being in love with someone isn't a good enough reason to get married. Infatuation doesn't last. It leads to idealization. You are infatuated with a person that doesn't exist. "He's not who I thought he was." Infatuation has never sustained a single marriage. It's more about WHY you marry than ...

Some of you may have heard of the book The Love Dare , which comes from the movie Fireproof about marriage. I wrote a blog on this awhile back, but only today did I finally pick up the book and start skimming through it. I was originally perusing it for a friend who is struggling through a marriage, but as I started reading it, I realized that the advice it gives is great for anyone who deals with people on a daily basis (which is everyone, of course, except for hermits and gamers who live in their mother's basements). In light of Valentine's Day, I am going to embark on this little Love Dare journey with the people around me. If you want to do the Love Dare with me, you can find it for free on this website . I encourage you to read through it because it has some powerful stuff about love in there that can apply to anyone, not just a significant other. If you feel that any relationships in your life are struggling, dare to do the dare with me. Maybe in 40 days, you'll s...

It's been awhile, old friend. What's going through my head these days? Well... lately I've been feeling God preparing me for the ominous life stage of marriage (dun dun DUN). I've been reading articles on the Boundless website and recently watched Fireproof . They both have been apt to show me the not-so-glamorous side of marriage. I will admit, I still dream of marriage being sort of magical, coming home to the man of my dreams everyday, traveling together, having a family together. In my head, it looks like an image of something you'd see in a snow globe or a Thomas Kinkade painting, but Lord knows this is not what reality looks like. Oh, how I wish it could be. I know that marriage won't be perfect, but am I prepared to deal with the realities of matrimony? The melding together of two separate people for the rest of our lives, the sharing of everything , the stress of finding a home, paying the mortgage, raising children?!!! I hadn't thought of how diffi...

Let's talk about a matter that I have avoided for quite some time, only because I really hate talking about it. Not only do I hate talking or thinking about it, but I hate reminding myself of the fact that I am in this predicament, despite my yearnings and prayers to God. And the topic I am speaking of today is... [drumroll please]... the art of being single. It seems to me that this is the age I should be settling down or dating someone or getting married or planning a wedding. Most singles my age have already spruced up their eHarmony profiles or been set up on blind dates by sympathetic friends. Others take to the bar or club and hop on the next wagon that takes them home. It seems my method of finding a mate could be seen as ineffective or unproductive, especially since, well... I'm not really searching. I mean, don't get me wrong, I look. But it just hasn't become my main priority, and I'd rather let God do the searching for me. Dating is a scary world out the...