Journey of a Thousand Miles

It's about that time again... to reflect on the past year and plan for the next. My Resolution for 2011 was more of a theme to " get back on the road again " to my goals and dreams and fully heal from past harmful relationships. I spent the beginning of this year in Recovery , going through the 12 steps a little less gracefully than I should have probably, but nevertheless, I have let go of a lot of baggage that was damaging any hope for a healthy relationship. Some of you may wonder why I went to Recovery in the first place. There was a myriad of reasons, but my sole purpose was that I didn't want to take any junk from my past relationships into my future marriage. I knew that marriage wasn't going to fix my problems, and if I wanted to have a good relationship with my future husband, then I first needed a good relationship with myself and, more importantly, with God. When I first went into Recovery, I realized a lot of my problems stemmed from false beliefs abo...

Recovery has me angry lately. I'm going through some hard stuff, bringing up junk from the past that I am still angry over, and it's not fun for the soul. It's good for the soul, but not fun. I realized that I still try to control my outcomes, rather than leave them in God's hands. I still try to control my circumstances, probably because my self-esteem still comes from outside sources, rather than within. I am still learning and praying how to find my self-esteem from within. If anybody knows how to do this, let me know.