Journey of a Thousand Miles

So, after my little temper tantrum with God yesterday, I felt much better. I think sometimes it's good to know that I don't always have to be okay with the way things are. In short, it is ok to not be ok. And once we are honest with ourselves and honest with God, He can do a much better work in us. Also, I took the 5 Love Languages Assessment and discovered some interesting findings. With friends, my primary love language is Quality Time , and my secondary was a tie between Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch . And just as I suspected, in a romantic relationship, my primary love language is Physical Touch , and my secondary was a tie between Words of Affirmation and Quality Time . For some reason, I never thought of Words of Affirmation as one of my stronger love languages, but it makes sense, seeing that I constantly need reassurance and am easily harmed by critical remarks. So anyway, I would just like to say that being honest about my feelings of singledom really hel...

WARNING: This is a blog about nothing, really. This has been one very relaxing, much-needed trip to Houston. I love spending time with my family and catching up with old friends. After this weekend, I think God knew what He was doing by sending me to Austin. Although I miss some aspects of my life in Houston, I am very grateful for all that God has blessed me for my life in Austin. I am mostly grateful for the Recovery process God has bestowed on me. It has saved my life in a multitude of ways. Recovery has allowed me to be single so I could grow as a person, pursue my dreams, and become the person I want to be without having a relationship to damage my life. Better yet, I have learned to find my identity in Christ and not in a man's approval. It is truly freeing. I would like to remember that I am ok right where I am. It gets easy to lose perspective in the midst of difficult circumstances, and I forget to be grateful for what God has given to me. This weekend was a reminder of m...

Wow.... my resume needed some major tweaking. I have spent the majority of this morning refreshing my resume, looking into unemployment, and contacting my temp agency. I feel more proactive about my job search this time around. I want to do it differently than last time in the sense that I will depend more on God with where He wants me. I know He will lead me where I need to be, and it makes the job search a lot easier. I am also more willing to put in some effort this time because the more I work and search for jobs, the faster this process will go, and the more liable I will find a job that works for me. I am a little more hopeful this time around because I know God will provide, and I know all this is happening for a very special reason. What that reason is, I don't know at this point. But I am putting a lot of energy into praying over this process, and I hope my friends do as well. I have found several jobs in my search that I would love to do, but don't seem qualified. And...

My oh my, how God works in mysterious ways. God has a way of convicting me in my most downtrodden moments. Earlier, I posted a blog while I was in that moment, while I felt lost and confused. And then after I posted, God brought me a message that convicted my heart... I stumbled upon a sermon podcast that my church did in January. For some reason, I'd never heard the sermon before, and in some strange way, God led me to listen to it today... the one day it really pertained to me. Basically, the sermon was about the Israelites while they were in the wilderness. They had been exiled from their slavery in Egypt, and they came upon the Promised Land, only to find that there were giants. God had brought them all that way, and now He wasn't keeping His promises. They wanted to go back to Egypt. Back to their slavery. Back to familiar. God killed some of the Israelites in the wilderness because of their unbelief. They did not get to see the Promised Land. Austin was supposed to be m...

Lately I've been aching for familiarity. It's been awhile since I've been home- 6 weeks. It doesn't sound like a long time, but I usually go home every 4 weeks, so I'm finding myself a little homesick. I took a walk throughout the mall, and every time I go to the mall, I get nostalgic because it reminds of my Express days, when I had more sense of direction and more financial stability, when things were alot easier and I had work friends to see everyday. Sometimes I wonder why I ever left because I have struggled so much for the past year, but I know that if I had stayed, I would have made a very large mistake. God takes us where He needs us to go. So my nostalgia really got me questioning my current life, where I'm going, where I've been, and where I want to go. I don't think I've ever been more confused in my life. I've been doing alot of changing and alot of growing, alot of questioning and re-evaluating. And I have to say, it's mind-numb...

Sooo much has happened (and not happened) in the past two months (I can't believe it's already been 2 months) since I moved to Austin. I am still looking for a full-time job, so pray for me guys. Gap has mentioned a promotion, but we'll see if that happens. If not, then I need to get on the ball and start looking. I've kinda fallen into a mini depression being so away from everything familiar, but I think this is a good experience for me, and I know something good will come out of it. It just takes time. I think I've found a church home in Austin, called the Austin Stone. It is a lively, genuine church with a lot of real, young Christians who are really about Christ and not just fakin' it like alot of other young people. So I really like that about them. Singledom in a new city is sometimes harder to deal with than singledom in a familiar city, even though I have a close friend right by me. Times get tough, and sometimes I would just like a companion to come ho...