Journey of a Thousand Miles

My friend Nicole always tells me that love is our most natural state, and any time we think a negative thought about another person, we are throwing ourselves off balance and moving further away from our most authentic self. The love dare for Day 1 wasn't particularly that difficult for me, since I try my best not to say negative things to people (other than occasionally teasing someone out of fun). On the other hand, it is extremely difficult for me to not think a negative thought. Usually upon waking up, my thoughts begin flooding me immediately and can go from zero to negative in a matter of seconds. It's important to have verses of Truth to counter them with because it can easily wear on one's mood if you don't. So instead of "biting my tongue," I decided to "bite my thoughts." There is that occasional moment, however, when I am stuck in a situation with a difficult person and want to defend myself or spout off something spiteful, so in those m...

Lately I've been aching for familiarity. It's been awhile since I've been home- 6 weeks. It doesn't sound like a long time, but I usually go home every 4 weeks, so I'm finding myself a little homesick. I took a walk throughout the mall, and every time I go to the mall, I get nostalgic because it reminds of my Express days, when I had more sense of direction and more financial stability, when things were alot easier and I had work friends to see everyday. Sometimes I wonder why I ever left because I have struggled so much for the past year, but I know that if I had stayed, I would have made a very large mistake. God takes us where He needs us to go. So my nostalgia really got me questioning my current life, where I'm going, where I've been, and where I want to go. I don't think I've ever been more confused in my life. I've been doing alot of changing and alot of growing, alot of questioning and re-evaluating. And I have to say, it's mind-numb...

I realized today something very important and life-changing: I subconsciously guide my own life. Even when my life is not going where I want it to, I subconsciously brought it there. That means I can also subconsciously bring my life out of it and through it and on to something better. I read through some journals of mine from the past couple of years, and it's funny how the things I wished for 2 years ago have somehow come about in some form or another. That means the things I wish for today will somehow come about also, which is awesome, but it's also scary because: what if my subconscious is guiding me towards things that I don't want? How often do I think negative thoughts in a day? And how powerful these thoughts really are. It's scary. We guide ourselves into our life's messes. I have guided myself out of alot of my past messes, but some of it has stayed with me because I subconsciously haven't moved on from them. Strange, but true. And scary (I know I kee...