Journey of a Thousand Miles

The reason a relationship feels difficult is that the person has become the living embodiment of the voices in your head. She taps into insecurities already roosting within. Her lack of approval or validation triggers a chorus line of inner complaint- it disturbs the little girl in you who uses any excuse to remind you what she deeply believes: If you were just smarter, thinner, prettier, holier or at least a better mother... you'd feel like Somebody. You'd meet with more applause. Your parking ticket would be stamped, and then you could make your way onto the freeway of life with all the other grown-ups. That may sound a bit strong. But honestly, when you peel back the layers of a person you find difficult to love- of a relationship that feels intolerable- this is the white noise in the background of your soul. It's true for all of us. We can be paralyzed by the power we give someone to name us. For a long time, the human tendency is to try harder- to perform o...

Stop being ashamed of your past. We are more than the mistakes that we make. The cross was enough. If you refuse to accept God's forgiveness, then you are saying that the cross was not enough. Use your past to help someone else, but don't beat yourself up about it. Only use it for God's glory. Embrace what you learned from your mistakes and move on. Guard your heart and mind from Satan's lies regarding your past sin. Don't waste Jesus' death by not letting go of past guilt and shame. "It is finished." God is ready to celebrate your return. He is not holding anything over your head.

Bonds can form around sin. Real change doesn't begin with trying harder to not do something sinful. Change starts when we're honest with God that we don't want to try at all. Don't hang with people who indulge in earthly pleasures. Insecurity- if God is not our anchor, we'll find security in people (the wrong people). Friendships like this can't work. Don't make friends with angry people. We are conformed to whatever we focus on. Bad company ruins good morals. Surround yourself with people who bring you closer to God. Spiritually edifying. Not afraid to talk about our sin struggles. Be honest about sin. We need friends who will hold us accountable, not someone who will say our sins are no big deal. Our choices in friendship are a reflection of where we are in God. Taking over someone else's responsibility is more harmful than good. Get unentangled by codependent relationships. Co-dependency = fear of man Unhealthy dependence o...

Let's talk about a matter that I have avoided for quite some time, only because I really hate talking about it. Not only do I hate talking or thinking about it, but I hate reminding myself of the fact that I am in this predicament, despite my yearnings and prayers to God. And the topic I am speaking of today is... [drumroll please]... the art of being single. It seems to me that this is the age I should be settling down or dating someone or getting married or planning a wedding. Most singles my age have already spruced up their eHarmony profiles or been set up on blind dates by sympathetic friends. Others take to the bar or club and hop on the next wagon that takes them home. It seems my method of finding a mate could be seen as ineffective or unproductive, especially since, well... I'm not really searching. I mean, don't get me wrong, I look. But it just hasn't become my main priority, and I'd rather let God do the searching for me. Dating is a scary world out the...

I am starting to understand what it really means to recklessly abandon myself to Jesus. This was always a hard notion for me because I was still holding onto worldly things to give me happiness, stability, and fulfillment. I looked for satisfaction in my boyfriends, friends, career, and dreams. I learned the hard way that all these things will disappoint me because they are imperfect and can be taken away. Isn't it great that we have a perfect and complete God that will never disappear? He is the only solid ground with which to stand on. I constantly struggle with a need for approval and validation, and I try to find it from people, but people can never complete me. Only God can provide me true completeness. When I dedicate myself to surrendering all I have to Him, that's when I begin to find the approval and validation I so desperately need. All our sin stems from this desire: to feel complete. We try to find it in the wrong things, and it causes us to stumble because these th...

Thanksgiving went well. It's really good to go home after being away for so long. So I have been really developing myself as a woman lately. When I was in Houston, I was walking on crutches, depending on other people to give me the things I wanted in life. But when I moved to Austin, those crutches were taken from me, and I fell hard, and it was easy to point the finger for awhile. But after so long, no one would come around to help me walk, so I had to stop pointing the finger and start learning to walk on my own. It has been extremely difficult, but it has made alot of positive changes in my life. All the things I thought I needed from other people, I found I could get myself. And all the good things in life start within me. I hope that a year from now, I can say I am much closer to the woman I want to be, and I hope that my life is in a much better place. I know this is all very vague, but it's all very vague to me too. So I have also been reading the Bible, as I may have me...