Journey of a Thousand Miles

Failure is a stripping away of the inessential. Rock bottom became the solid foundation from which I rebuilt my life. -JK Rowling It is impossible to live without failing, unless you live so cautiously that you haven't lived at all, in which case, you fail by default. Life is not a checklist of acquisition or achievement. We don't need magic to change our world. We have everything within us to make a better world. We can use our imagination to change the world.

I want to live a great story. But living a great story requires me to get out of my comfort zone, and currently, I am battling a few fears. Running away from fear only makes it grow, I have learned.  First off, I need to get past this idea that I'm a failure.  Truth tells me that I am not a failure. Truth tells me that I am redeemed through Christ, and the Lord "has a plan for me, to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me a hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11).  I have to daily fight these lies that I am a failure and replace them with God's Truth. I have become risk-averse when it comes to relationships.  Living in a fallen world, I will never escape harm.  It's just the truth of the matter.  I will  get hurt, no matter how safe the relationship.  So I just have to face these fears if I want a fulfilling life and start risking getting close to people again and become vulnerable.  God has me where I am for a purpose. I may not underst...

I think the hardest part about going after my goals is not being able to see the finish line. All I see around me are obstacles and setbacks, and it's easy to wonder if I'm getting anywhere at all. Today was the hardest for my ambitious little heart. When a girl like me who is creative, smart, and intelligent is sitting in a temp agency's office that is asking her to alphabetize words, she starts to feel that her intelligence is being insulted. Why did I even go to college?! I didn't get a BACHELOR'S degree so I could re-learn the alphabet! Then, when I'm sitting in the waiting room to get food stamps, and all the people around me look on the verge of being homeless or having their 10th child, I start to think, This is not where I belong. How did I end up here? What's even more sad is that I actually qualified for food stamps. It can only get better from here, right? I was told that God sees our circumstances in a different light than we do, and...

Written May 21, 2008, Wed. So I'm going through one of those moments where I'm struggling with what I want to do with my life. The Houston humidity is reminding me of how much I don't want to be here and how much I wish I were somewhere else doing something else. I don't want to work in the fashion industry anymore, which means my degree is a waste (so I'm pretty pissed about that), and the things I want to do seem so far out of reach and unattainable that I almost don't even want to try. But there is a saying that makes me not want to give up: "The important thing is not being afraid to take a chance. Remember, the greatest failure is to not try. Once you find something you love to do, be the best at doing it." Here's another good one: "Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." So I've been pondering on whether or not I should go back...