Journey of a Thousand Miles

Never marry for mercy. Don't marry for fear of hurting someone. It is NOT SELFISH to want to make a wise marital choice. Why should your children suffer from you not choosing the right father? It's not your life to give away. You need to think of the best stewardship of what God has given you. Why would you give it up for a pity marriage? Being tired of being single is NOT a good reason to get married. It's better to wait and make a wise choice. Sometimes the best way to find a good marital match is to end a bad dating match. Marrying well is a good witness to the world.

Going outside of God's will is a disaster. It is God's will to be sanctified, to avoid sexual immorality. Sexual ability is not what brings a marriage down. Your first priority is to marry a godly spouse. The same God who tells a girlfriend to say no to having sex with her boyfriend is the same God who tells a wife to say yes to having sex with her spouse. Guys, you want a girlfriend who will displease you to please God. If they don't obey God BEFORE marriage, they won't obey God AFTER marriage. If they can't sacrifice for a couple years of dating, they're not worth a lifetime of marriage. You're not obligated to carry someone else's sexual baggage. But once you marry them, you have to forgive their past and let it go. When you marry a godly person, there's forgiveness and grace. A person who's a giver and not a taker will figure out how to please you. You don't need to "try it out" before you buy it.

Marriage is a difficult pursuit. You might have to put in some effort or change something. Let it be a passionate pursuit. We can actively pursue a spouse; we don't have to sit back and wait passively for a spouse to come along. Search intentionally for a spouse. Seeking a spouse is not idolization. You may have to show interest in a guy for him to step up and ask you out. He needs to show SOME ability to pursue. Don't marry a passive man. Make yourself more marriageable. Where do I need to grow as a person? Spend what it takes, whether that's counseling or other resources.

Nowhere in the Bible does it say we have a "soulmate" or have to find "the One." Marriage isn't to be an idol to complete ourselves. Marriage shouldn't compete with God. Beauty is fleeting. Find someone who is set on pleasing the Lord. We are free to marry anyone we wish, only in the Lord. The choice to get married and who we marry is up to us. Rather than seeking a soulmate, seek a sole mate. A man who doesn't love God is limited in his ability to love you. You need a man who is controlled by the Holy Spirit. We need to marry someone who knows how to forgive. Don't try to 2nd guess God's design.

You can't possibly know the circumstances you're going to face in your future marriage. You can choose who you face those trials with. A good marital choice is a gift that keeps on giving. A foolish and ill-considered marital choice is a bad investment. You will always face the consequences. Marriage should lift 2 people up to be better than they could be as singles. Listen to the words of Jesus when choosing a mate. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. God has our best interests at heart. 3 Wrong Reasons to Get Married Sexual chemistry Romantic infatuation Relational compatibility These don't keep a marriage going. Being in love with someone isn't a good enough reason to get married. Infatuation doesn't last. It leads to idealization. You are infatuated with a person that doesn't exist. "He's not who I thought he was." Infatuation has never sustained a single marriage. It's more about WHY you marry than ...

Let's talk about a matter that I have avoided for quite some time, only because I really hate talking about it. Not only do I hate talking or thinking about it, but I hate reminding myself of the fact that I am in this predicament, despite my yearnings and prayers to God. And the topic I am speaking of today is... [drumroll please]... the art of being single. It seems to me that this is the age I should be settling down or dating someone or getting married or planning a wedding. Most singles my age have already spruced up their eHarmony profiles or been set up on blind dates by sympathetic friends. Others take to the bar or club and hop on the next wagon that takes them home. It seems my method of finding a mate could be seen as ineffective or unproductive, especially since, well... I'm not really searching. I mean, don't get me wrong, I look. But it just hasn't become my main priority, and I'd rather let God do the searching for me. Dating is a scary world out the...