Journey of a Thousand Miles

People-pleasers, so dependent on being approved and accepted by others, are incapable of validating themselves independent of others’ confirmation. The longing to feel secure, prompting behaviors of compliance and conformity, necessarily had to prevail over the not-quite-so powerful yearning to hold onto their true selves. When people-pleasers grow up, they do so with a fully crystallized program to be good enough they must comply with the wishes and demands of others. As with so many other personality dysfunctions, they're unable to validate themselves from within so must depend on others to confirm their value from without. Not having developed any sense that they're inherently worth caring for--i.e., lovable for themselves --they strive to make themselves lovable by becoming for others whatever they think might be wanted from them. It is a resentment that over time has accumulated so much mass that inevitably it's begun to leak out in the form of passive-ag...

 How others act does not need to affect how we think or act. There is a difference between letting the reactions of others take over our life and respecting others' opinions while maintaining our own perspective and integrity. Letting someone else decide who we will be, how we will act, and what we will feel implies that we have given up our own life in exchange for whatever the other person wants us to be. When we adopt opinions that aren't consistent with our personal values, we are not living our own lives. We are not free. Even our Higher Power can't do much with us until we have detached. We have to detach from others in order to attach ourselves to God! If we're focusing all our energies on people and problems we have little left for the business of living our own lives. Worrying and obsessing keep us so tangled in our heads we can't solve our problems. Whenever we become attached in these ways to someone or something, we become detached...

How are your resolutions coming along so far? I've been doing a good job of focusing on my goals this year of getting into grad school. I have a very disciplined list of what I should spend time on this year, and what I shouldn't spend time on this year. One thing I would like to spend less time on this year is FACEBOOK. It is the bane of my existence. I can't believe how much time can pass on there without me even realizing it. It's like, I go on just to check ONE THING, and then all of a sudden, I'm checking out pictures of a person I hardly even know. It is such a sickness. So I have decided to have a specific destination when I get on the computer so I don't end up spending hours on facebook. Lately, when I get on the computer, I am looking up schools to study abroad at. I am hoping to apply to the Rotary scholarship , which would allow me to study abroad for a year, while doing community service in my chosen country. Just one of the many goals on my list th...