Journey of a Thousand Miles

I think the hardest thing for a single in their late twenties is to not envy those in strong relationships with people they love. Any time I see another engagement on Facebook, it is another reminder of God's delayed promises. Recently, my cousin became engaged (who is younger than I), and my first reaction was envy and a little bit of anger towards God for not providing the same way He has provided for others. After checking my heart, I realized this was not loving towards my cousin, and there is no reason to feel this way because I am not lacking- God has provided sufficiently for my life, and I need to recognize His blessings. These things will not end after attaining a spouse. There will always be something to covet- somebody's house, their children, their income, etc., so it's best to check this heart matter at the door and leave it there. Plus, people are aware when others are not happy for their successes, and it greatly impacts a relationship when one feels they are...

There's nothing better than focusing on the positive qualities of others. I loved this little exercise because it reminded me of why I love my friends around me and what originally drew me towards them in the first place. It's easy to start focusing on the negative things when you've been hurt several times, but after awhile, you start to forget who they really are, and it can only lead to devaluation and hate. This exercise allowed me to see that even the people I resent still have good qualities about them, and they are only human after all. Knowing that I have failed and am in dire need of redemption, it allowed me to make room for grace and let others be human. We could all use a little more grace. "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..." Romans 3:23 If any of you have been following along, what have you learned so far and how has The Love Dare changed your relationships? I know it has already changed my perspective on how I relate to other...

I tried to write this blog sooner, but life keeps getting in the way. It's been busy with the WDP back in session, trying to raise support for a mission trip, trying to accomplish my other goals, and balancing work and a social life. Wow... no wonder irritability can creep in at moments. There are several roots behind irritability: lust, bitterness, greed, pride, stress, etc. I know mine come from a need for attention or validation, to feel loved by those around me, hence my last blog. When I'm searching for my identity in others rather than Christ, it is the breeding ground for all kinds of emotional instability and wrong motives. I have to remind myself in each moment that my love comes from God, that He loves me no matter what. Sometimes it's difficult to remember this when people are more tangible than God. I can write a book on this subject, but let's get a move on. Day 7- Love believes the best . Today’s Dare For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the f...

Sometimes listening attentively is the best gift you can give others, and that's what I set out to do with my accountability partners last night. It's easy to get frustrated when others aren't listening, and when you stick three women together, there's bound to be many interruptions and lack of listening. I made it a point to listen attentively and not get angry, even if I couldn't finish a statement without being interrupted a thousand times (which I was). And you know what? I walked away feeling refreshed, fulfilled, and connected. I get tired of thinking about myself all the time. When we are so focused on ourselves, it's easy to get down. But when we start giving to others unselfishly, all that depression and loneliness magically strips away. God is the only one who is meant to fulfill us in the first place, so if other people aren't doing "their job" of satisfying our needs, well it wasn't really their job in the first place. On to Day ...

What better day to show kindness in love that on Valentine's Day?!!! I chose to do this dare with my very own roommate by making her a handcrafted Valentine Card (with handmade confetti hearts!), and she totally loved it. It felt good to make someone else happy, and doing something nice for others forces one to think outside of ourselves, which is what makes the world go round. I'm startin' to dig this whole Love Dare thing. :) Moving along to Day 3- Love is not selfish . Here's a few snippets from the article: You either make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself. You can’t be acting out of real love and selfishness at the same time. Ask yourself these questions: • Do I truly want what’s best for those around me? • Do I want them to feel loved by me? • Do they believe I have their best interests in mind? • Do they see me as looking out for myself first? Those are some good questions to ask ourselves. As for myself, I think I am more worried about h...

My friend Nicole always tells me that love is our most natural state, and any time we think a negative thought about another person, we are throwing ourselves off balance and moving further away from our most authentic self. The love dare for Day 1 wasn't particularly that difficult for me, since I try my best not to say negative things to people (other than occasionally teasing someone out of fun). On the other hand, it is extremely difficult for me to not think a negative thought. Usually upon waking up, my thoughts begin flooding me immediately and can go from zero to negative in a matter of seconds. It's important to have verses of Truth to counter them with because it can easily wear on one's mood if you don't. So instead of "biting my tongue," I decided to "bite my thoughts." There is that occasional moment, however, when I am stuck in a situation with a difficult person and want to defend myself or spout off something spiteful, so in those m...

Some of you may have heard of the book The Love Dare , which comes from the movie Fireproof about marriage. I wrote a blog on this awhile back, but only today did I finally pick up the book and start skimming through it. I was originally perusing it for a friend who is struggling through a marriage, but as I started reading it, I realized that the advice it gives is great for anyone who deals with people on a daily basis (which is everyone, of course, except for hermits and gamers who live in their mother's basements). In light of Valentine's Day, I am going to embark on this little Love Dare journey with the people around me. If you want to do the Love Dare with me, you can find it for free on this website . I encourage you to read through it because it has some powerful stuff about love in there that can apply to anyone, not just a significant other. If you feel that any relationships in your life are struggling, dare to do the dare with me. Maybe in 40 days, you'll s...