Journey of a Thousand Miles

WARNING: This is a blog about nothing, really. This has been one very relaxing, much-needed trip to Houston. I love spending time with my family and catching up with old friends. After this weekend, I think God knew what He was doing by sending me to Austin. Although I miss some aspects of my life in Houston, I am very grateful for all that God has blessed me for my life in Austin. I am mostly grateful for the Recovery process God has bestowed on me. It has saved my life in a multitude of ways. Recovery has allowed me to be single so I could grow as a person, pursue my dreams, and become the person I want to be without having a relationship to damage my life. Better yet, I have learned to find my identity in Christ and not in a man's approval. It is truly freeing. I would like to remember that I am ok right where I am. It gets easy to lose perspective in the midst of difficult circumstances, and I forget to be grateful for what God has given to me. This weekend was a reminder of m...

Let's talk about a matter that I have avoided for quite some time, only because I really hate talking about it. Not only do I hate talking or thinking about it, but I hate reminding myself of the fact that I am in this predicament, despite my yearnings and prayers to God. And the topic I am speaking of today is... [drumroll please]... the art of being single. It seems to me that this is the age I should be settling down or dating someone or getting married or planning a wedding. Most singles my age have already spruced up their eHarmony profiles or been set up on blind dates by sympathetic friends. Others take to the bar or club and hop on the next wagon that takes them home. It seems my method of finding a mate could be seen as ineffective or unproductive, especially since, well... I'm not really searching. I mean, don't get me wrong, I look. But it just hasn't become my main priority, and I'd rather let God do the searching for me. Dating is a scary world out the...

Just when I think it's impossible for me to grow any stronger and start to believe I'll always be this way, God proves me otherwise. Living on my own, away from my family, has been an immense struggle, but I knew going into it that the challenges I would face and lessons I'd learn would be worth it in the long run. God has forced me into situations that I would normally run away from, compelling me to change and find a way to overcome my struggles. In this next year in Austin, I want to dedicate my life to healing and growth and let God bring me what He will bring me. I have finally come to accept my singleness. I don't need the distraction of a guy from my healing process, and I want to find mental stability without depending on a man. In my instability, I will only find a guy who will bring me down, and I have already been there and done that. I know that road all too well, and I will not walk down it again. I am leaning on God, now more than ever, and taking ...

Something I have been learning lately is how to give it all to God. I have been worrying too much about my love life and "when the heck is he gonna get here?" and the fact that I hate being single, when I could be using that energy on much more productive aspirations. So instead of fighting with God to hurry the hell up, I have decided to wave my white flag and surrender to Him. I will let Him do His work so I can focus on mine. Because that's all I really can do. And not only am I giving Him my love life, but I am handing over all areas of my life. That way, I have alot less weighing down on me throughout the day.

Sooo much has happened (and not happened) in the past two months (I can't believe it's already been 2 months) since I moved to Austin. I am still looking for a full-time job, so pray for me guys. Gap has mentioned a promotion, but we'll see if that happens. If not, then I need to get on the ball and start looking. I've kinda fallen into a mini depression being so away from everything familiar, but I think this is a good experience for me, and I know something good will come out of it. It just takes time. I think I've found a church home in Austin, called the Austin Stone. It is a lively, genuine church with a lot of real, young Christians who are really about Christ and not just fakin' it like alot of other young people. So I really like that about them. Singledom in a new city is sometimes harder to deal with than singledom in a familiar city, even though I have a close friend right by me. Times get tough, and sometimes I would just like a companion to come ho...