Journey of a Thousand Miles

It's about that time again... to reflect on the past year and plan for the next. My Resolution for 2011 was more of a theme to " get back on the road again " to my goals and dreams and fully heal from past harmful relationships. I spent the beginning of this year in Recovery , going through the 12 steps a little less gracefully than I should have probably, but nevertheless, I have let go of a lot of baggage that was damaging any hope for a healthy relationship. Some of you may wonder why I went to Recovery in the first place. There was a myriad of reasons, but my sole purpose was that I didn't want to take any junk from my past relationships into my future marriage. I knew that marriage wasn't going to fix my problems, and if I wanted to have a good relationship with my future husband, then I first needed a good relationship with myself and, more importantly, with God. When I first went into Recovery, I realized a lot of my problems stemmed from false beliefs abo...

Another blog about nothing (these are my favorite kinds). I've had alot of time to think some things through. I've realized that I make things way more complicated than they need to be. Life is not supposed to be hard. It's supposed to be enjoyed. I just put alot of pressure on myself to succeed when I should "let go and let God," as the old adage says. I have decided to do this with my job search and my novel. I realized that God will bring me the job He wants me to have, just as He's brought me every other job I've had. When I was working at the Limited, the manager from Express came in to recruit, and that's how I got the job. When I was searching for jobs last year, a recruiter found my resume for Dell. Both of those jobs landed in my lap at the right moment, so I should just trust that God will bring me the next right job when the time is right. God knows what's best. It's made the whole job search thing alot more relaxing, knowing that I...

I can't believe it's already June! July will mark my one-year anniversary of moving to Austin, and I have to say, despite my struggles here (and there are many), it was definitely a good move on my part. I look forward to see what's in store for me for the next year. With that said, I had a great Memorial weekend. I caught up on some very much-needed sleep, did some writing, hanging out with people, then finished off the weekend with some kayaking on the lake and a pool party with friends, which reminded me why I moved here in the first place (the great outdoors). I have met so many people here in Austin, and it's interesting to see these people become my friends. Although our differences can rub each other the wrong way, I have come to learn how to let my guard down and let people see the vulnerable side of me, which isn't easy to do. I have always been shy and a closed book when it comes to revealing myself, but I have come to learn the satisfaction in letting ...

So I've started researching grad schools in different states, mainly the East Coast, and it's got me wondering if grad school is really worth it. I mean, I'll be broke all the time, away from my family (unless I can magically get into UT), and well... yes I love writing, but do I love it enough to sacrifice my family and financial security? I just don't know. I still get homesick, even when I'm only 2 1/2 hours away, so what makes me think I can live many states northward? Eeks. It scares me. I was very excited about the idea at first, but now I just feel overwhelmed. So I just have to say that fall is very beautiful here in Austin. I love the colder weather and the orange leaves. Sooo, so beautiful.

So I get really tired of whining on this thing, and I get tired of whining altogether. I have learned alot about myself out here in Austin, and I have really had to come face-to-face with alot of my behavior traits that keep me from enjoying the good things in life. I'm really grateful that I can face these things so I can work on them and be rid of them. Yes, I have struggled out here, but through pain, God brings redemption. And I think God is polishing me up and scrubbing away those negative qualities so I can become a better, stronger person and continue on my way to going after my dreams. Even though things haven't panned out exactly as I hoped here in Austin, they're paving a better way for a better life, and I can't complain about that. I read a verse yesterday in Matthew that said something like, "Why worry if it cannot add any days to your life?" and it really hit me bc I worry about alot of stuff all the time. Worrying about being single isn't go...

So... things have been a constant see-saw for me in Austin. Living on my own has proven to be quite a challenge, and has emitted quite a number of headaches and stress-induced panic attacks. But things are good for today... at this very moment, so I decided to do an update while my hopes are still high. My life has been pretty eventful here, I must say. In Houston, I was just living in my dreams, wishing for a better life, which is what brought me to Austin in the first place. And I have to say, living your "dreams" is alot less glamorous starting out. It's a constant struggle, but I know that if I trust God, He has redemption waiting for me just around the corner. And blessings. So I am being as patient as possible, while trying not to lose my mind. Sometimes I miss the comfort and ease of home, but I know that if I went back, I would feel like I gave up everything I ever fought for, everything that I'm struggling and striving for, and I am not yet ready to compromis...

So things are finally packed and ready for me, and I'm getting a little antsy about my big move to Austin. My fears are looming largely in front of me, and I'm having to take one step at a time through that huge Wall of Fear. My home doesn't feel like home anymore, and everything around me is just a blur. I'm letting go. It feels weird because I know my life is changing drastically, which means I'm changing drastically. There are so many people and new friends I'm letting go of, and it's scary.  One thing I want to do in Austin is figure out which career route is ultimately right for me. I think I've narrowed it down to writing. I want to pursue all my dreams when I get there, which I know will be hard when I'm trying to make a living- and find time to do what I love. It'll be difficult, but it'll also be worth it. I was in a lull in Houston. I was just waiting for life to happen, and it just kept waiting for me to make it happen. So I got ...

This is like birthing a baby. Although I don't really know what that's like. We are about to embark on a new adventure together. I hope to share with you all my true thoughts and feelings of life in general and the world as I see it. Please feel free to share your thoughts as well. I don't really have a purpose for this blog, except that I feel an innate need to write and have others read my thoughts. So... with that said, let's get blogging! Well, I won't start today, even though I have alot on my mind. But for now, I would just like to introduce myself. I am currently working in retail. I love my job, although it's not my dream career. I would really like to be a writer. I am living with my parents, out of college (graduated last year), and I am SO ready to live on my own again, though I like saving money. I am about to turn 25, which will be a turning point for me, and I think then I will ready to make a big move because I am tired of where I'...