Journey of a Thousand Miles

So life has been so crazy that I almost forgot to blog. Actually, I've been avoiding the ole blog because I really didn't want to talk about what was going on, which is alot of CRAP! Anyway... Alot has been going on. God has been testing me. But... it's all good. I got a job. A temporary job for the holidays, so I'll be kept busy. I need it. A good managerial job to keep me responsible and busy. Seriously though, the past week has been rough. There have been good times, mind you, but emotionally, things have been tough with my family. Through my Recovery group, I've been learning to deal with conflict differently than how I learned in my family, and going back to a family that still practices bad habits is not good for someone recovering from those things. Talk about high stress. So I've been in a lot of deep sorrow, anger, depression, you name it. I just thank GOD that I have the geographical distance from my family, and I have an amazing group of friends here...

Lately I've been aching for familiarity. It's been awhile since I've been home- 6 weeks. It doesn't sound like a long time, but I usually go home every 4 weeks, so I'm finding myself a little homesick. I took a walk throughout the mall, and every time I go to the mall, I get nostalgic because it reminds of my Express days, when I had more sense of direction and more financial stability, when things were alot easier and I had work friends to see everyday. Sometimes I wonder why I ever left because I have struggled so much for the past year, but I know that if I had stayed, I would have made a very large mistake. God takes us where He needs us to go. So my nostalgia really got me questioning my current life, where I'm going, where I've been, and where I want to go. I don't think I've ever been more confused in my life. I've been doing alot of changing and alot of growing, alot of questioning and re-evaluating. And I have to say, it's mind-numb...

Sooo much has happened (and not happened) in the past two months (I can't believe it's already been 2 months) since I moved to Austin. I am still looking for a full-time job, so pray for me guys. Gap has mentioned a promotion, but we'll see if that happens. If not, then I need to get on the ball and start looking. I've kinda fallen into a mini depression being so away from everything familiar, but I think this is a good experience for me, and I know something good will come out of it. It just takes time. I think I've found a church home in Austin, called the Austin Stone. It is a lively, genuine church with a lot of real, young Christians who are really about Christ and not just fakin' it like alot of other young people. So I really like that about them. Singledom in a new city is sometimes harder to deal with than singledom in a familiar city, even though I have a close friend right by me. Times get tough, and sometimes I would just like a companion to come ho...