The Art of Being Single
Let's talk about a matter that I have avoided for quite some time, only because I really hate talking about it. Not only do I hate talking or thinking about it, but I hate reminding myself of the fact that I am in this predicament, despite my yearnings and prayers to God. And the topic I am speaking of today is... [drumroll please]... the art of being single.
It seems to me that this is the age I should be settling down or dating someone or getting married or planning a wedding. Most singles my age have already spruced up their eHarmony profiles or been set up on blind dates by sympathetic friends. Others take to the bar or club and hop on the next wagon that takes them home. It seems my method of finding a mate could be seen as ineffective or unproductive, especially since, well... I'm not really searching. I mean, don't get me wrong, I look. But it just hasn't become my main priority, and I'd rather let God do the searching for me.
Dating is a scary world out there, especially for a Christian woman who is trying to stay away from the crazies (and boy, there are alot of crazies out there). Not only is it difficult to find someone who I am willing to commit the rest of my life to, but it is almost entirely impossible to find a man that I am not only compatible with, but also shares my love for Christ. I have seen how difficult it can be to have a relationship with an unbeliever, and I know God has kept me single to avoid this pain. (Let's be honest, I've experienced enough pain in my past relationships. No need to continue it for a lifetime.) So I am taking my time on this one...
I mean, really: if I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this person, procreate with this person, and raise a family with this person, you best believe I'm going to take my precious time finding a man who is eligible and capable of being a great husband, friend, and father. The waiting can be gruelsome, but when it comes down to it, it'll be worth it when I can walk up the aisle with a man who is looking up to God at the same time I am.
The key here, really, is to put full trust in God. And to find completeness and happiness in Him. This is easier said than done, ladies and gents. All my life, I found my happiness and wholeness in love and relationships, in finding my soulmate and Knight in Shining Armor. It wasn't until my last relationship that I realized that no man can bring full satisfaction in my life. What a hard blow to a young 25-year-old who put all her hope in her future soulmate. All I can say is, I am glad I found out before I said "I do."
So as I wait on God to answer my prayers and fulfill His promises in my life, I am perfecting the art of being single by learning to find my joy in Him. To not search for it in some "dude" and to live a complete life in Christ. Because the Bible says that He is my one true Husband. And I am His bride. And there is no greater Husband than God Himself.
Can I getta "Amen?!"
Comments
I heard this program on the radio a while back that was talking to singles about how to spend their single years. It is something I embrace because it make sense. It said something like this: "Spend your single time running towards Christ. If you happen to see someone single and of the opposite sex running along side, take another look" To me this contains just about everything...the scriptures talk about being equally yoked. I take that further than just meaning the person believes in Christ. Yes, the base is true but if you yoke two animals together to plow they not only have to be facing the same direction but they also have to move at about the same speed and have the same strength. If they didn't they would go in circles. Spiritually I think people are the same way. Especially with some of my dreams where I'd want my wife to be involved in the ministry work I want to do. It has to be a team effort and so someone not interested in Christ or have a desire to help others and reach people would be a hindering yoke. If someone is running along side then they are interested in the same things of God and to me means they may fit the equally yoked test.
So yeah...after you remove all the unqualified people from the mix, then run the qualified people through the equally yoked idea, and then make sure they have the same views and desires when it comes to kids, lifestyles, jobs, etc. its no wonder I've only asked a few people to begin the dating thing which I see as just a process to work out if what you think you see is really true and to work out all those things that haven't been discussed like future dreams, plans, ideals, etc. I guess its not really dating as much as it is courting. Today I think dating has become this thing where according to Hollywood you go to dinner 2-3 times, kiss, make out, have sex and move on all in a few months. Hollywood can keep their version.
And really it only makes sense that you have to rely on Christ before finding someone because once you find them you still have to rely on Christ and must keep Him first place and in the center of the relationship. I'm glad I've found myself in Christ first because that way I am not requiring a marriage to function but desiring a marriage to grow and worship Christ in new ways. I would hate to think of what could happen without Christ.
So Amen! Wish more people would have this view. :)