Journey of a Thousand Miles

Life is going better for me. I'm happy. I'm hopeful. I'm excited for what's to come in 2017. I came a long way this year. I thought I wouldn't survive this year because the beginning started off so rough. God had to pluck things out of my life that didn't need to be there, and it was painful, but now I feel that He is planting new seeds that are growing, and I am happier for it. I have a good Christian community around me. I'm more involved at church. I'm moving in the right direction. I'm EXERCISING (what?!). I'm taking better care of my body. I'm reading His Word and fighting the spiritual battles with the right armor. I'm waiting on God for answered prayers instead of taking things into my own hands. I'm sitting still (for once), but I'm also working diligently towards my purpose. I'm allowing God to grow me. It's been a good last half of the year. I'm making big plans and planting seeds for next year. I think 201...

I am excited about life. Happy about life. Hopeful and everything in between. I am happy for the season I am in. I know that God is pruning my life, uprooting all the things that don't belong there, the things that aren't producing fruit, He is getting rid of that. I am no longer sad and depressed about being single. I am happy as a single because I know that God has a husband for me, and he will come in God's timing. I am no longer unsure about my music career. I know this is where God has me and where He wants me and where He is leading me. It is time for SELF-DISCIPLINE. It is a time for PRUNING. It is time to STAY OFF SOCIAL MEDIA. It's time to get serious about my songwriting. I am trusting the process. This is going to be a good season because I am CHOOSING to be happy. Yay!

I've been studying through the book of Numbers where the Israelites are scoping out the Promised Land to see what it's all about, and they see how rich it is, but they also see GIANTS! Caleb is the only one who wants to conquer the giants, but the rest of the Israelites are scared, and they'd rather go back to Egypt. I find it strange that instead of conquering their fears, they would rather go back to slavery. Why would you want to go back to being a slave when you have the Promised Land right in front of you? Then I realize that I'VE DONE THE SAME THING! I mean, how many times have I cowered out of fear and returned to familiarity instead of taking a leap of faith towards a dream? From the outside, it may seem like I'm a courageous person because I'm recording an album, but there are SO MANY TIMES when I have chosen the safer route instead of trusting God's promises. God had PROMISED the Israelites that they would take this land. And yet, THEY WERE S...

So many goals... so little time. Sometimes my goals make me feel like a failure because year after year, I don't get as much accomplished as I hoped. Some things take twice as long or ten times as long! It's good to remember that God's goals for us are better than our own goals. Things will happen in His timing, and I will only get accomplished what He wants me to accomplish. My eternal purpose is better than any earthly attainment. Still, I find myself looking at my own deadlines, wondering when I can accomplish it all. My bucket list grows and grows, but I don't have the money to travel to all the places I want to go. I don't have the time to finish my book, start a business, AND pursue music all at the same time. It's just not feasible. God only gives us so much time in a day. And even if I DID accomplish all those things, what would it be for? Approval? My own satisfaction? Those things don't matter in eternal light. So I try not to push myself to th...

I am headed to Ireland next week, and I couldn't be more excited to leave! I need a change of scenery. Not that anything is going bad in my life. Things are finally pretty calm for once. I just need some adventure in my life and to get away from my 'to do' list. Every vacation I have had has been for family or music, so it's nice to finally have a real vacation where I don't have something to do except enjoy life. For 2 WEEKS!!!! I have to be honest though. My ex has been on my mind, and I've been wondering how he's doing. Wondering if he's still with his new girl, or if he's ruined it already. My bet goes on the latter. But I still pray for him and hope that God is taking care of him because Lord knows I couldn't handle him. Only every once in awhile do I miss him. It's hard when I see a picture of him. But I don't want to speak to him for a very long time. God needs to do some work in him before I give him that privilege. And then I...

It's been awhile. I've been busy writing new music for the album, getting into a regular exercise regime, staying focused at work, and working through spiritual issues. I recently borrowed a book from a friend called "Rejection," and it talks about the spiritual side of rejection and why we feel it. Interesting stuff. It says that an evil spirit can enter a baby in the womb and manifest itself throughout that person's life. The spirit of rejection can move through several generations, and it's passed down to you through your family line. I know. Intense stuff! So I've been praying for God to remove this spirit from my life so I can get on with living, and it's a lot harder than you would think. Rejection can attach to you deep into your soul, and it takes some digging to get it out. But I don't want to live with it anymore, so I am grabbing my spiritual shovel and getting that sucker out. I want to live a good life without this fear hangi...

Transitions... I've been feeling like my life this year has been one big transition. I feel God's hand moving me to release my grip on things I was holding onto- an old relationship, a job- the things I was finding my security in instead of Jesus, and instead to move forward into a new assignment to be fully dependent on Him. It has been a battle. I have fought Him, and He has won. I struggled, and God pulled out all the muck from my heart. I prayed that He would take out all the bad and only allow what is good, and that is exactly what He did. I just didn't expect it to be as hard and ugly as it was. I was hoping for something a little easier. So here I stand in full surrender, with no real plans on the horizon. I have plans, but I keep them with open hands. I am recording an album next month, and I feel so haphazard and unprepared, but I'm moving forward with it anyway. I felt at peace when I signed the contract, and I am trusting God to do what God does, and I ...