The Big Move

So things are finally packed and ready for me, and I'm getting a little antsy about my big move to Austin. My fears are looming largely in front of me, and I'm having to take one step at a time through that huge Wall of Fear. My home doesn't feel like home anymore, and everything around me is just a blur. I'm letting go. It feels weird because I know my life is changing drastically, which means I'm changing drastically. There are so many people and new friends I'm letting go of, and it's scary. 

One thing I want to do in Austin is figure out which career route is ultimately right for me. I think I've narrowed it down to writing. I want to pursue all my dreams when I get there, which I know will be hard when I'm trying to make a living- and find time to do what I love. It'll be difficult, but it'll also be worth it. I was in a lull in Houston. I was just waiting for life to happen, and it just kept waiting for me to make it happen. So I got nowhere, but I guess I did learn a few things, or I wouldn't be making this big move. 

I now see the small purpose Houston played in my life. It's so strange. While I was here, it seemed like an eternity, like I would never move out. Now that I'm moving out, it feels like I didn't stay here very long. I met some good people, worked some interesting jobs, dreamed of a better life, and wished my life away. And now here I am, doing exactly what I promised to do- move out at 25. I wonder a little what will happen with those small relationships I built, those networks I made. Will I see these people again, or will they become a remnant of my past? 

There are so many things I want to do with my life, now that I am overcoming my challenges. It encourages me to try other things and face more fears and keep going, one step at a time. I definitely want to travel more and get paid to do what I love. For now, I'm going to have to take a less passionate job just to pay the bills until I can get qualified to do what I'm really passionate for. I didn't really take the right career route in college, but it's never too late to do what I love. So I'm thinking about taking some continuing ed classes at a community college.

There's so much involved in moving, and I'm a little nerve-wracked with finding the right moving truck, looking for jobs, salvaging my money, getting everything I need packed, communicating with my roommate to tie up all the loose ends, pay some bills... then I look at all my savings and see that it's quickly depleting... and I realize that I need a job in Austin FAST!  I start wondering, "What the heck am I doing?! Life was so simple when I was just living with my parents!" But when I think of the life I want to live, I know this is a vital step to get there, and I know it will be worth it in the end. When I look back on all this in five years, I'll wonder why I was so fretful and worried. 'Silly ole me,' I'll think and laugh, knowing that I had nothing to worry about. (Atleast I hope)

I don't know what the next few months will entail for my life, but I do have some expectations. I hope that I create a fulfilling life for myself in Austin, find a job that pays me enough to do all the fun things there are to do in that town and buy a new car, meet ambitious, like-minded people and make new friends, (hopefully) start a love life (which has been pretty stale for awhile), and pursue my passions. I just feel like I'm a little behind on this whole life thing bc I'm 25 and still haven't accomplished most of the things I thought I would by now. 

Stay tuned for the move!