Crutches

Thanksgiving went well. It's really good to go home after being away for so long.

So I have been really developing myself as a woman lately. When I was in Houston, I was walking on crutches, depending on other people to give me the things I wanted in life. But when I moved to Austin, those crutches were taken from me, and I fell hard, and it was easy to point the finger for awhile. But after so long, no one would come around to help me walk, so I had to stop pointing the finger and start learning to walk on my own.

It has been extremely difficult, but it has made alot of positive changes in my life. All the things I thought I needed from other people, I found I could get myself. And all the good things in life start within me.

I hope that a year from now, I can say I am much closer to the woman I want to be, and I hope that my life is in a much better place. I know this is all very vague, but it's all very vague to me too.

So I have also been reading the Bible, as I may have mentioned in earlier blogs, and the New Testament can be very frightening. Or atleast convicting. I've had to ask myself several questions, such as "what am I doing with what God has given me? Am I keeping it to myself or giving it away?" I know God is still developing me, but I still have something to give now. And God can't give me more until I start giving what little I have. Hard, but true.

I have also seen how the prophecies in the Old Testament came true in the New Testament, which leads me to believe that the prophecies in the New Testament will also come true. Which, if you know what those prophecies are, are very scary.... if you're not living for God, that is. So I've definitely been taking a long, hard look at my life. I know I'm making progress, and I know there is still so much yet to come.

So the more I read the Bible, the more I want to know about the Truth. The more I want to study and research everything there is to know about Jesus and all that went on during his teachings.

Not alot has changed in my life on the outside, but there sure is alot going on beneath the surface. It's going to be a loooong walk. I believe that God has exciting things in store for me.

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