Journey of a Thousand Miles

Often times in life, we are left in a state of regret. Over things we've done or things we didn't  do. So what's the best solution when there's nothing we can do and life just goes on without us? I've taken to the Bible to get some answers... "Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do:  forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead" (Phil 3:13)   "And we know that for those who love God all things work together  for good,   for  those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)   "'For I know the plans  I have for you,' declares the  Lord , 'plans to prosper  you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" (Jeremiah 29:11) According to scripture, God's got this all under control. That leaves no room for regret. So whether I've done something I wished I hadn't, or wish I had done something differently, God is sove...

Ever feel like God is holding out on you? I think we've all felt that way at one time or another. Like He has chosen to ignore our prayers or He purposely doesn't answer them, and somehow we think He's punishing us for some sin we did. It's easy to think this way because maybe at one point our parents held out on us out of punishment for something we did wrong, but we have to remember that our Heavenly Father never withholds anything that is good for us. He promises to bring all things to good. He promises to provide for our needs. And sometimes we think we need something when we really don't. Or maybe there is something that we need that God isn't answering, like our health or a way to pay the bills. Sometimes God chooses not to heal, but He still promises to use all our situations for good, even the bad situations. I always think I trust Him until He takes away the one thing I think I need. That's when my faith is tested. I feel tested lately. Luc...

Okay, so I may not tackle all these before I'm 30. I should probably just call this my Bucket List, but you get the idea.  Go skydiving. Go skiing or snowboarding. Perform my songs. Go on a mission trip abroad. Become fluent in a foreign language. Build a house. Submit my writing for publication. Travel alone. Visit the East Coast. Build a garden. Learn to swing dance. Build a life-size snowman. Ride in a hot air balloon. Learn to surf. Run in a marathon. Bike in a marathon or for a good cause. See a rainforest. Learn how to effectively meditate. Sleep under the stars. Stay up all night and watch a meteor shower. Walk across a roped bridge. Sail a boat. Climb a mountain/cliff. Go skinny dipping (with my husband, of course!). Teach a Bible study or lesson. Share my testimony with an audience. Learn to play piano. See an elephant in its natural habitat. See the Northern Lights. See a tornado.

Letting go is so hard to do... even when we know that severing the ties will take us in a new direction. When we let go of the negative relationships in our lives, God will provide better ones. It's so hard to let go even then. I don't like letting go, but I do like new direction. I am standing in God's way by holding onto relationships that only bring me down. I have learned far too well that holding onto stale relationships takes me nowhere. Why hold on out of guilt? Why hold on to please people rather than let go and let God bring me His best? Why continue to let people control your thoughts and feelings? I choose to let go. Letting go has only brought me higher. It has brought me to better places, and over time, those negative people are in my past and no longer in my present. They can no longer stress me out. They can no longer manipulate and control me. I've tried to fix relationships on my own. I have tried all I could to get people to change, to reason wit...

One of the hardest things about learning more about God's Truths is that our idols start to look less appealing. We start to see them for what they really are- imperfect, full of flaws, and truly unfulfilling. At once, we thought these idols would complete us, make our lives better. Now they seem so... dull . They've lost their luster and shine. It's like meeting a celebrity you looked up to for so long and then realizing they're not a good person on the inside. It's disappointing to see that the Wizard of Oz is just a man behind a screen. We feel cheated, betrayed, wronged! How could we go on living so blinded and deceived for so long? How could we believe that these idols were once so great and then see them come crashing down when compared to the Truth? It's like growing up and finding out that Santa Claus isn't real. Your parents have been lying to you all this time. And you fell for it. The magic is gone. On the bright side... we no longer have to dep...

I have a restless spirit. It longs to circumnavigate the globe. For the past few months/years, I've been suppressing this spirit, trying to fit in with "normal life," trying to "settle down" because that's what you're supposed to do at my age. But the restlessness doesn't go away. I believe it is a gift from God. A restless spirit like mine is meant to travel, discover, explore. The comforts of our culture leave one feeling ironically dissatisfied, bored, and listless. I feel less than alive when I'm trying to force myself to fit behind a desk I was never made to sit behind. I only wonder how long this pseudo-conforming will last before this spirit breaks out of me and leaves everything behind. She's done it before, and she can do it again. It's only a matter of when , not if.

I want to live a great story. But living a great story requires me to get out of my comfort zone, and currently, I am battling a few fears. Running away from fear only makes it grow, I have learned.  First off, I need to get past this idea that I'm a failure.  Truth tells me that I am not a failure. Truth tells me that I am redeemed through Christ, and the Lord "has a plan for me, to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me a hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11).  I have to daily fight these lies that I am a failure and replace them with God's Truth. I have become risk-averse when it comes to relationships.  Living in a fallen world, I will never escape harm.  It's just the truth of the matter.  I will  get hurt, no matter how safe the relationship.  So I just have to face these fears if I want a fulfilling life and start risking getting close to people again and become vulnerable.  God has me where I am for a purpose. I may not underst...

No work tomorrow. 15 minutes til Bible Study. And plans to hang out with friends tonight. I'm taking a moment to reflect on life for awhile. I started writing on my book again. With a full-time job, it gets hard to make time for my true passions and hobbies, but I try to keep it on my to do list (that thing just gets longer and longer). I have my first LAUNCH weekend for AMTC this month, and I am both nervous and excited. Something that seemed like a dream is now becoming a reality. I will be practicing for the SHINE event in acting and songwriting. I'm also seeing my boyfriend this weekend!!! And staying at my old apartment in Austin... how nostalgic. It was a year ago that I went on my mission trip. In only two months, I will have been in Houston for a year now. Crazy! My trip to Tennessee was very good. It gave me perspective on my life. Long drives can do that. I made a list of plans for the rest of my life. I gave up making plans a long time ago because God kept thwa...