Journey of a Thousand Miles

As I get ready for SHINE, I decided to write a blog on how grateful I am for this opportunity because it is God that has brought me to this place, and I couldn't have made it this far on my own. Never did I think I could be this close to my dreams. For a long time, it was just that: a dream. Not a reality. I've wanted to act since I was a kid; I wanted to be a songwriter since I got my guitar at 16; but fear and circumstances kept getting in the way of my dreams. I'm glad I got to do some growing up, and I'm glad I have a relationship with God that I did NOT have as a kid or at 16. Don't get me wrong, I believed in God, but I didn't truly know Him like I do now, and I definitely didn't know my identity in Him. I was searching for all sorts of things at 16, and if I had pursued these dreams at that age, I think it would have been the death of me. God knew in His infinite wisdom the proper timing for me to start pursuing my dreams. With all that said, I am...

Why is it so hard for us to pray boldly for our lives? Do we think we don't deserve it? Do we doubt that God will answer boldly? I will tell you one time that I decided to pray boldly. It was for my car. My old Sable was running on its last leg, and I knew I couldn't afford to buy a new car, so I prayed for one. Here is what I prayed: Dear God,   You know I need a car, and you know I can't afford one. So if it's possible, I need you to give me a free car. I really like my aunt and uncle's Hyundai Elantra. And I'd really like a sun roof!   Amen About two weeks after that, my cousin called me out of the blue. After we made small talk, she said the real reason she called was because she had just bought a new car. She'd been driving our aunt and uncle's Hyundai Elantra and didn't need it anymore, so she asked if I was interested. After I said "hell yes," she said that since she didn't have to pay for it, she didn't see a...

Here is what God is teaching me today: Move forward and leave the past behind. Live by faith, not by sight. God loves you. Believe that. Stay close to His Word, and He will lead you. God is amazing. He has saved you from so much harm. Trust Him. Listen for His voice. He is calling out to you. Give your dreams to God, and He will make good use of them. Find your worth in Him. Find hope in Jesus and nothing else.

All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. This is the motive of every man, even of those who hang themselves. --Blaise Pascale God created our desire for happiness. He made us to long for happiness. He longs to use that desire to do 3 things: Lead us to Him Test our motives Bring Him glory God designed our desire for happiness to lead us to Him. Our hunger for happiness is designed to prompt us to look to God, to long for the day when we will be returned to His presence. The primary function of our desire to be happy is to glorify God. Our happiness in God is the only evidence that we're not using Him. We spend ourselves on temporal things and therefore we long for temporal things. The way to combat that is to spend ourselves on eternal things. What does it look like in yo...

As I prepare for Shine in January, I've been reading a devotional on conquering fear. God has been preparing my heart and mind for what's to come and equipping me for any challenges that may spring up, seen or unforeseen. One of the fears that have been springing up lately is feeling unqualified to be a performer. Like Moses, I want to say things to God like, "But I'm stage fright! I don't have a strong voice! I never took guitar lessons! There are so many others more qualified than me!" And so on and so on... But God is still sending me out there to do His work. He is the one that placed the call on my heart to write songs and perform them. So do I cower out of fear like I've done for the past decade? Or do I obey His call and step out in obedience? Moses said to the Lord , “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”  The Lord said to him, “Who ...

What does it mean to take life one day at a time? I can get lost planning for my future or replaying my past. It's hard to live in the present moment when you're a goal setter. But God has called me to leave the past behind me and not to be anxious for tomorrow. To allow Him to take the reins and to lean on His understanding. With Shine coming up, it's hard for me to stay in the present moment. I keep trying to make plans for what hasn't happened yet. I'm even making back-up plans for the plans that don't work out (I've gotten used to my Plan A failing). But God keeps saying "Stop! What are you doing? Why aren't you relying on Me? I already know what's going to happen!" I hate uncertainty. I hate feeling unprepared because of the suffering it has caused me in the past. I was never prepared for the suffering. I guess it's a way of protecting myself when I should be relying on God's protection. His plan = protection. His pl...

Things I resolve to do in 2014: Consult God before all my decisions. With all the opportunities that will be coming up soon, I will have to make some quick decisions. I just want to make sure they're the right ones because these decisions can direct the rest of my life. Eat healthier and start exercising regularly. My body is getting older, and with my 30th birthday coming up, it's high time I start taking my diet more seriously. Time to have more self-discipline in what I eat and treat my body as a temple. Learn music theory. Now that I'm finally putting my music out there for others to enjoy, I want to write more and better songs. The biggest skill that would help me is music theory (basically the mathematics of music). This would help me create better chord progressions, which I struggle with now. Spend more time with God in the mornings. I usually drag myself out of bed in the mornings and rush to work. I want slower, more peaceful mornings. The times that I succ...

As I like to do every year, I reflect on the past year's challenges and victories before making my resolutions for the next year. This year has proven to be quite an adventure. I started off celebrating my birthday in Whistler, Canada at the top of a mountain as I knocked off a bucket list item: learning how to ski. I also met a very special person on this trip, who became my first "real" boyfriend since my high school sweetheart. I say "real" because he's the first person I've truly committed to in my heart in a long time. The future of our relationship remains to be seen, as God unfolds the details of our lives. I was also unemployed, so I took up gardening to spend time outdoors and do something useful with my hands. I pursued my dreams of writing, acting, and music, but I was disappointed when I didn't get accepted into Page Parkes and was beginning to think I should give up the performing arts. Besides, how could I serve God in the entertain...