Reflections on 2013

As I like to do every year, I reflect on the past year's challenges and victories before making my resolutions for the next year. This year has proven to be quite an adventure. I started off celebrating my birthday in Whistler, Canada at the top of a mountain as I knocked off a bucket list item: learning how to ski. I also met a very special person on this trip, who became my first "real" boyfriend since my high school sweetheart. I say "real" because he's the first person I've truly committed to in my heart in a long time. The future of our relationship remains to be seen, as God unfolds the details of our lives.

I was also unemployed, so I took up gardening to spend time outdoors and do something useful with my hands. I pursued my dreams of writing, acting, and music, but I was disappointed when I didn't get accepted into Page Parkes and was beginning to think I should give up the performing arts. Besides, how could I serve God in the entertainment industry? It seemed self-serving and meaningless. I began praying for a way I could use my passions for God's purposes and that He would give me meaningful work, and that's when I saw the billboard (in Tomball, TX of all places). It said "Actors, Models, and Talent for Christ. Auditions being held in Houston!" I couldn't believe my eyes! Could this be a real thing? I quickly snapped a picture of the billboard and perused the website when I got home.

My boyfriend went with me to the audition, and I performed a song and a monologue. I gave them my headshot, which Page Parkes provided (that's ONE good thing that came from that overpriced endeavor) and listened to their speakers. They talked about how they train performers to be the light in the dark entertainment industry and to treat it as a mission field. Jesus called us to go into these places and represent Him. I knew this is where I needed to be! The next day, I'd gotten a callback and went to my first training and was accepted into their program. The cost of the program left a big lump in my throat, but I had faith that God would provide.

My boyfriend mentioned one morning that I should get a landscape design job with all the gardening I'd been doing and my love for creative work. Literally that day, I got a call for an interview and scheduled an appointment. I had no idea what the job was for, but as I approached the door, I noticed the sign that read "Landscape Architect." Shockingly, I got hired on the spot and given the keys to the office and was to start the next day as a Landscape Designer! My boyfriend was thrilled that he'd foreshadowed my new job! Not only that, but I hadn't even applied for this job. With the hundreds of resumes I sent out, my boss had found mine from another job I applied for but didn't get. Little did I know that my unemployment was about to run out! God provided just in time in His special ways.

In the summer, I went to Tennessee with my family and was reminded how much I love that portion of the US. (I frequently ponder moving to Nashville). It was a great getaway to reflect on my life and all that God was doing. I met many great people who I'm related to somehow and learned a little American history, and I hope to go back to the mountains someday. Seriously, I MUST live in the mountains. Shortly after my return, I started training for AMTC. 

But it seems that just when things are going well, that's when the devil likes to attack. With all the changes happening so fast, I started experiencing anxiety. I started to feel unsure of my future and having many doubts, losing hours of sleep. I'd never experienced insomnia before, and I strongly believed I was under spiritual attack. It wasn't until a woman prayed over me at AMTC, asking God to quiet the chatter so I could hear God's voice, that the anxiety stopped and the pressure in my chest went away. I stay VERY close to God's Word now so I never have to go through that nightmare again.

This Autumn, I filmed my first PAID acting gig, which was a Doritos commercial, and I realized why I love this industry: I love collaborating on creative projects with like-minded people.  I am now preparing for the biggest performance of my life at Shine with AMTC. I'll be performing in front of agents, record labels, producers, and all sorts of people in the entertainment industry. My hopes are to be able to pursue my passions full-time, quit my day job, and use my talents for God's Kingdom. I am not sure how His plan will pan out yet. At times, I struggle with all the uncertainty, but as I look back on my life, it seems that this is exactly where I've always wanted to be. I'm looking forward to see how He uses me.

I also dread look forward to turning 30 next year! My 20s have been a challenging, fun, and trying decade. I hope the next decade goes much smoother, and I hope beyond hope that God answers my prayers for my heart's deepest desires. Stay tuned for my New Years Resolutions for 2014!!! Cheers!