Finding Rest


I feel I owe it to my one or two readers of what’s going on in my crazy life right now. Just recently I found out I am once again out of a job. It’s all good though- I actually prayed for this to happen.  Maybe not in that particular fashion, but I’ve been needing a change in my environment lately, especially in my job. I truly didn’t want to work full-time anymore, and I was begging for a chance to go home and rest and be able to write and work on my other ventures without the distraction of a “job.” And since I wasn’t brave enough to quit myself, God took it upon Himself to release me and give me a nice severance check that would hold me over until I applied for unemployment. How nice of Him. 
So here I find myself at home with my parents, eating their food, and using their internet. It was hard to get used to the slower pace of life at first, and I miss my friends in Austin, but I’m quickly getting used to it. I’ve taken up gardening! Pulling weeds and working with the earth is a great way to be productive and feel close to God. Sort of like I’m pulling the weeds in my own life and watching the beauty grow from it. 

Yesterday our pastor talked about Rest (I love it when the sermon seems to speak straight to me). He said the only satisfying rest is in God, not in any worldly things like money, success, acceptance, or TV. I feel this is the theme of my life lately: Rest. Rest from the life I have built for myself in Austin for 3 years. Rest from working at a full-time job that distracts me from my true goals and dreams. Rest from being away from family and worrying about paying rent. Rest from my over-active lifestyle and social engagements. Lately I’ve been finding rest in God. Knowing and trusting that I am exactly where I need to be at this point in time. Knowing and trusting that this is all part of His plan. And I am so hopeful for where He’s going to take me. 

Today I start my "job" as a full-time writer. This means being my own boss and disciplining myself to get up and sit behind that computer until I’ve typed my fingers dry. God has given me this gift of time to focus on my dreams, and I intend to steward it well.  I don’t know when I’ll get time like this again, so I’m taking full advantage of the opportunity until God tells me to move again. For now, I feel this is right where I need to be. I'm being forced to live by faith and not by sight. It's scary at times, and I find myself on my knees multiple times a day begging God to give me some sort of direction. He's slowly revealing it to me, but most of the time I hear Him telling me to just rest. That's so hard for me. 

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