Jumping

Well today I'm going skydiving, and this marks a huge goal off my bucket list. I decided to make the jump a little more symbolic for me, like taking a huge leap into a new life, leaving the past behind me. Jumping into freedom, I guess.

I took some time this morning to look back on old posts, and I've seen alot of change in me over the past 2 years. Can you believe it's been 2 years since I moved to Austin? My, how time flies.

Sometimes I wonder if I should go back home to my family who I miss oh-so-much. But there's some things here that I know I would miss. I've been blessed with a great job that I enjoy going to, and I have friends here that I don't want to leave behind. Not to mention my church, but I also have a church in Houston that I love as well. I'm just wondering if I would "fit-in" in Houston. Every time I go there, it seems so different now. And I've changed so much that I wonder if I would belong there at all. Sometimes I think that going home is all I need, but I'm waiting for an open door from God.

I've been praying alot lately for a significant other. That's the only thing really weighing me down. I'm 27 and ready to settle down and start my life, but it's not really in my hands. The wait has been longer than I ever anticipated. It's aggravating and leaves me hopeless sometimes. There are certain people who have come and gone in my life, and I miss them deeply. I may never see them again, and I have to be okay with that. It hurts, but ah well. What can you do but move on and try to enjoy life without them?

Anyway... these are just thoughts. It's funny how 2 years ago, I could talk about nothing but my dreams and goals. Where have they gone now? I guess I have let them go to make room for what is. I still have those dreams tucked deep inside, but I've just given up on the timeline and the need for accomplishment. I still go after the things I love, but I move slower these days. I'm not in such a rush anymore to be "successful" and "accomplished," things I thought would satisfy me. Now I know what really matters to me, and I've decided to center my life on those things. On people and relationships. Just sucks that the relationship I really want hasn't come around yet.

Whew! Didn't mean to make this blog so depressing, but it's what's going on in my mind at the moment. Welp, I'm off to jump out of a plane! Wish me luck.

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