Breakthrough

I've been asking God for a breakthrough in my life. I want a real, lasting change. I want real, lasting confidence. He has set His truth in my heart, and it's time for me to start believing it.

Recently, God has placed it on my heart to let go of an attachment (or two) that I've had for a few years now. These are both for people I never dated but had strong feelings for. It has come to my attention that I still long for these people to be in my life and that it may not be healthy for me to keep pining, especially since I am dating someone and talking about marriage. I can't marry someone and pine for another. So I have asked God to remove these attachments and set me free.

I've also been reading Kingdom Journeys by Seth Barnes, and it's got my wheels in motion and my heart aching to get on the road again, to experience my own kingdom journey. Now doesn't seem like the right time for me to take off- I'm pushing 30, dating someone serious, talking about marriage and decorating my future house, and building my dream career. It seems that things are finally "stable" and "secure," but I can't shake the feeling of wanting to travel the world and experience all the cultures that God wants me to see. I've been longing to go to a third world country, and I wanted so desperately bad to help people in Oklahoma with the Austin Disaster Relief Network, but things just didn't work out that way. God is putting this tug on my heart to go out and serve more. To see the world. To journey.

I know this isn't the right timing, but I feel that God is preparing me for something bigger than my dreams. I've been praying for a breakthrough, and I don't know what that looks like exactly, but I feel it coming.

"We can't be fully transformed in our backyard. We need to journey." Seth Barnes

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Update on Life

I just wanted to update because I'm very happy with my life right now. I've been talking to someone new- a crush from high school- and we recently reconnected, and we are finding that we have sooooo much in common, it's not even funny. He might move to Australia with his job, but I am still enjoying this bit of time we have to talk and get to know each other. I can't believe this is my 3rd relationship this year- I usually have 1 relationship per year, and I give myself a long break in between. But I feel that God has lifted the barrier of me not dating anyone, and now He is giving me free reign. So far, so good because I have been dating MUCH better men than my usual. So I am happy because we enjoy all the same hobbies, the same music, the same everything! We do have some differences on religion (he's a Christian, but he doesn't celebrate Christmas), so that may be the make it or break it deal. But in the meantime, I am very happy getting to know him. In ot...
Read more

Looking Back

It seems so much longer than a year since I moved to Austin. I have changed so much that it seems I have aged five years, both in maturity and in weariness. I first came here open and vulnerable to new experiences, ready to take on the city and show them what I had, though I wasn't quite brave enough to really do that. I had a host of dependencies that I was carrying with me that wouldn't let me walk on my own. I had hangups that I was still harboring in my heart and false perceptions that would eventually carry themselves to the surface, only to be scrutinized, condemned, and then changed. For the first few months, I was very hurt, confused, and disappointed at what I would find in my new life. I longed to go back to my old life, to find my dreams again, to grasp tightly to those things I so dearly depended on for my security. It wouldn't be long before I would be wiped clean of everything I clinged to and set on a different path that I was not familiar with. I had to beco...
Read more

Wholeness

Happy New Year everybody!!! I hope you are all ready to maintain your resolutions this year because I know I am. I have a heavy plate to fill, so there's no time to waste in past regrets and what not. I have a desk calendar that has daily prayers for emotional wholeness, and January 1st really touched on something that I struggle with and want to overcome this year, and I will share with you what it said: God's purpose for our lives is to make us whole- which is the way He created us to be- and then to work through us for His glory as we surrender our lives to Him. Emotional wholeness means living without negative emotions and having peace about who you are and where your life is headed. When we pray to God, we are spending time in His presence. And in His presence is where we find healing from the pain of our past. Prayer draws us closer to God, where we can get a vision for our future and better understand our purpose. The theme that sticks out to me here is wholeness, and th...
Read more