Ten Signs I Have Won the Lottery (or Gone Crazy)

I decided that if I won the lottery, I wouldn't want anybody to know because I've heard horror stories of what happens when one becomes suddenly rich. Families get destroyed or feel betrayed if you don't help them out. Friends show their true sides and either get closer or leave when they find out your fortune. Random strangers send letters in the mail describing their misfortunes, begging for deliverance. Money brings out people's true motivations.

If I did win the lottery, I would keep it quiet because I wouldn't want my life to change at all. I would want to keep the same relationships and (almost) the same lifestyle. But I have provided you with some indications that something is just not right, so if you see these changes in me, you can pretty much count on the fact that I have suddenly run into a lot of money, or I have gone completely mad, and you should either a) sign me up to the Funny Farm, or b) become my trust fund baby. Here you go:
  1. I suddenly quit my job for no reason whatsoever. Not even a two weeks notice.
  2. Random photos of me in different parts of the globe start popping up on Facebook. 
  3. You start seeing planes in the sky with my last name on the tail. 
  4. My car magically upgrades to an Aston Martin, or another equivalent. 
  5. I suddenly become interested in real estate and buy several houses in hot spots of the U.S. 
  6. I adopt ten children from Africa. 
  7. I start several businesses overnight, providing jobs to many.
  8. My new house has a moat around it. 
  9. A small sum might show up in your mailbox if I hear you're not doing so well financially. 
  10. My parents suddenly quit their jobs and take off to the Bahamas. 
There you have it folks. This is not an exhaustive list, but it gives you a good idea of what to look out for. Here's to winnin' millions, baby!

[Please note the satire in this post and know that I would not try to take over the world with my millions. Maybe just a whole city. ;) ]

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