Control

Does anybody else here have strange dreams? Sometimes I wish had my own Daniel to interpret mine because they've been so vivid lately.

The other day I dreamed I was trying to take a close-up picture of a bird. The bird kept growing smaller and smaller, so I kept having to focus closer and closer. I was afraid the bird was going to move before I got a good shot, and I was running out of space on my camera. I told my mom not to scare the bird off while I ran to get an extra memory card. I was really adamant about her not scaring off the bird and didn't want him to move because I had the perfect shot. By the time I got back, the bird was smaller than a fingernail. I could barely see him. I focused closely in to take a picture, and the camera started smoking. I thought maybe I put the memory card in wrong, so I opened the camera, and the light bulb for the flash was busted. I was using an old camera, and the film was put in wrong. By that time, the bird was gone, and I lost my perfect shot.

I am no dream interpreter, but I get the feeling it has something to do with control and my perspective on life. Sometimes I can get so focused on the miniscule things in life that I forget to see the bigger picture. I keep trying to control all the outside elements and make things perfect, but the more I try to get that "perfect shot," the more things go wrong, and I feel out of control. And maybe the smoking camera represents my own perspective breaking down as I see that there's so much more to life that what's in that little viewfinder.

Why do we sometimes feel the need to control things? Why is it so hard to let things be? I read somewhere that control is rooted in fear. What are we so afraid of if we let go of that control? Life is so much easier to live when we just let things be and let things happen and change and grow in their own natural timing. We think we have to manipulate situations and outcomes for our own comfort and security, but what this does is deteriorate any comfort or security we ever felt and cause us more pain.

When we trust that we’re okay no matter what circumstances come our way, we don’t need to micro-manage the universe. We let go. And we open ourselves to all sorts of wonderful possibilities that aren’t there when we’re attached to one “right” path. The energy of surrender accomplishes much more than the energy of control.