Wholeness

Happy New Year everybody!!! I hope you are all ready to maintain your resolutions this year because I know I am. I have a heavy plate to fill, so there's no time to waste in past regrets and what not.

I have a desk calendar that has daily prayers for emotional wholeness, and January 1st really touched on something that I struggle with and want to overcome this year, and I will share with you what it said:

God's purpose for our lives is to make us whole- which is the way He created us to be- and then to work through us for His glory as we surrender our lives to Him. Emotional wholeness means living without negative emotions and having peace about who you are and where your life is headed. When we pray to God, we are spending time in His presence. And in His presence is where we find healing from the pain of our past. Prayer draws us closer to God, where we can get a vision for our future and better understand our purpose.

The theme that sticks out to me here is wholeness, and that's because I've never felt whole in who I am alone. I've always searched for completion and wholeness in others, their approval and attention, or in a romantic relationship. And of course, none of these things can complete me. Only God can. So to get back on the road again this year, I want to focus on becoming whole in God and having peace in who I am and where my life is headed. I have an unhealthy tendency to adjust myself to what other people like, and I end up feeling pulled apart in many directions and the complete opposite of whole. In fact, I usually feel lacking because I can never get the approval of everyone. Also, when I meet a guy I like, I will adapt myself to make him like me, and instead of showing him who I really am, I'll show him a poor representation of who I am. And of course, this gets me nowhere in finding true love.

I don't want to find wholeness in another person, not even a "soulmate." I want to be complete in who I am, just how I am, regardless if others approve of me or not. I would rather be who God made me to be than be a poor rendition of who I am.

So that is another focus for my New Year. I wish you all good luck in your resolutions, and if you would like to share yours or lend your thoughts, feel free.

Here's to a great new start!!! 2011!!!

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