Comfortable With Being Comfortable

It is late at night, and I don't have to work tomorrow, so I thought I'd take some time to get my thoughts out. I've been pondering my life lately, and sifting out what's working and not working. I think I've become comfortable where I'm at, which can be both good and bad. I've met new people in my old hometown, and I enjoy my job, even though it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life. But I'm cozy. I'm happy. No conflict. The only conflict I have is that I don't feel like I'm really "doing" anything with my life, and by that, I mean... I could be doing so much more with my life. Like, what am I doing for the world? Everything I do is for myself and not for others, and I'd like a little altruism in my life. I need more purpose, more vision... more accomplishment. I honestly thought I would have accomplished alot more in my life by this age. I hardly feel successful. I do have a direction, but I feel like the goals I have are hard to attain. I need more short-term goals. What am I going to do with my life in the next year? I don't feel that I utilize my time enough. I see people who are traveling across America on a bike to help raise money for people in Africa, people who are publishing books, recording albums, following their dreams... and then there's me. Living with the folks. Waiting life out. Dreaming of all the things I want to do and not taking the steps to get there. I'm really bored with my life. I want a life worth talking about. When people ask me what I'm doing these days, all I can say is, "Work." It's so humdrum. When I graduated college, I had bigger plans for my life. I had adventurous plans, plans to conquer the world, to be all that I can be (without joining the Army... or is it the Marines?). So I guess I'm a little disappointed in myself.

But I must say, I have figured out alot of things in the past year, which was the sole purpose of me coming back home in the first place. And now that I have figured some things out, I can start moving in the right direction. I guess the hardest part is getting out of my comfort zone. I've gotten comfortable with being comfortable, and now it's hard to get up and start walking again. I would like to move out of Houston, but I've met so many great people here that I don't want to leave. I would like to travel the world and actually USE my money. I think I spend too much money on selfish causes. I have a hard time giving away my money, even for the greater good. I just don't have enough of it, and that's one thing I would like to learn to do in the next year. To give my money. To be more generous. Maybe that will be my New Years Resolution.

I would just like to better utilize my time and money in general. I would like to give my time and money more often, rather than hording it for myself. Then, maybe, I'll feel like my life is useful, that I'm doing something to better the world. Maybe that's why I feel so useless. I'm just not giving enough. Well that clears things up. I guess my next step is to learn to start giving, and to figure out what cause I would like to start giving to. Hmm... much more pondering to do. Thanks for reading! And please, you are welcome to lend me your thoughts. I love to hear what other people think.