How Lucky I Am

It's late at night, and I don't even know if I'll post this blog, but I just want to seize this moment and reflect on some things.

I'm really lucky. I'm lucky where I'm at in my life right now. I'm lucky that I'm taken care of, even though I have no job. I'm lucky that I'm able to pursue my passions and still have money to pay the bills. I'm lucky to be living in a very beautiful city, even though I left my family behind. I'm lucky to have such a supportive family. I'm lucky that God directed me to where I am today and didn't leave me in the flux I was in.

I can only imagine what kind of person I would have been had I never left my comfort zone of Houston. I don't even want to think about it because I know she wouldn't have been happy. She would always be wondering 'what if?' But I don't have to wonder that because I did it. I moved out; I struck out on my own, just like I promised I would. And I am still on this journey of discovering myself, developing myself, and pursuing the life I've always wanted. I tell you, I am quite a few steps closer than I was when I started.

The thing I am most glad of is that God is providing me the path to recovery. He is growing me, strengthening me into the woman I was meant to be. I am having to face alot about myself, work through alot about myself, and then become a better, stronger person. It is alot of work, but I enjoy the journey. I am seeing my dreams come alive, and new hopes and dreams are growing in place. It is a marvelous experience.

When it comes to love, I have finally prayed for God to keep me single for the time-being because I see how much work He needs to do in me. I want these changes to take place in me before I find a relationship. My heart still yearns, but I feel that day coming closer and closer, and I want to be fully ready for it. I know I am not yet ready.

I am looking forward to all that God has in store for me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Update on Life

I just wanted to update because I'm very happy with my life right now. I've been talking to someone new- a crush from high school- and we recently reconnected, and we are finding that we have sooooo much in common, it's not even funny. He might move to Australia with his job, but I am still enjoying this bit of time we have to talk and get to know each other. I can't believe this is my 3rd relationship this year- I usually have 1 relationship per year, and I give myself a long break in between. But I feel that God has lifted the barrier of me not dating anyone, and now He is giving me free reign. So far, so good because I have been dating MUCH better men than my usual. So I am happy because we enjoy all the same hobbies, the same music, the same everything! We do have some differences on religion (he's a Christian, but he doesn't celebrate Christmas), so that may be the make it or break it deal. But in the meantime, I am very happy getting to know him. In ot...
Read more

Looking Back

It seems so much longer than a year since I moved to Austin. I have changed so much that it seems I have aged five years, both in maturity and in weariness. I first came here open and vulnerable to new experiences, ready to take on the city and show them what I had, though I wasn't quite brave enough to really do that. I had a host of dependencies that I was carrying with me that wouldn't let me walk on my own. I had hangups that I was still harboring in my heart and false perceptions that would eventually carry themselves to the surface, only to be scrutinized, condemned, and then changed. For the first few months, I was very hurt, confused, and disappointed at what I would find in my new life. I longed to go back to my old life, to find my dreams again, to grasp tightly to those things I so dearly depended on for my security. It wouldn't be long before I would be wiped clean of everything I clinged to and set on a different path that I was not familiar with. I had to beco...
Read more

Wholeness

Happy New Year everybody!!! I hope you are all ready to maintain your resolutions this year because I know I am. I have a heavy plate to fill, so there's no time to waste in past regrets and what not. I have a desk calendar that has daily prayers for emotional wholeness, and January 1st really touched on something that I struggle with and want to overcome this year, and I will share with you what it said: God's purpose for our lives is to make us whole- which is the way He created us to be- and then to work through us for His glory as we surrender our lives to Him. Emotional wholeness means living without negative emotions and having peace about who you are and where your life is headed. When we pray to God, we are spending time in His presence. And in His presence is where we find healing from the pain of our past. Prayer draws us closer to God, where we can get a vision for our future and better understand our purpose. The theme that sticks out to me here is wholeness, and th...
Read more