Journey of a Thousand Miles

There's nothing better than focusing on the positive qualities of others. I loved this little exercise because it reminded me of why I love my friends around me and what originally drew me towards them in the first place. It's easy to start focusing on the negative things when you've been hurt several times, but after awhile, you start to forget who they really are, and it can only lead to devaluation and hate. This exercise allowed me to see that even the people I resent still have good qualities about them, and they are only human after all. Knowing that I have failed and am in dire need of redemption, it allowed me to make room for grace and let others be human. We could all use a little more grace. "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..." Romans 3:23 If any of you have been following along, what have you learned so far and how has The Love Dare changed your relationships? I know it has already changed my perspective on how I relate to other

I tried to write this blog sooner, but life keeps getting in the way. It's been busy with the WDP back in session, trying to raise support for a mission trip, trying to accomplish my other goals, and balancing work and a social life. Wow... no wonder irritability can creep in at moments. There are several roots behind irritability: lust, bitterness, greed, pride, stress, etc. I know mine come from a need for attention or validation, to feel loved by those around me, hence my last blog. When I'm searching for my identity in others rather than Christ, it is the breeding ground for all kinds of emotional instability and wrong motives. I have to remind myself in each moment that my love comes from God, that He loves me no matter what. Sometimes it's difficult to remember this when people are more tangible than God. I can write a book on this subject, but let's get a move on. Day 7- Love believes the best . Today’s Dare For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the f

So after a week of practicing the Love Dare, I have come to realize that it all boils down to this: We are perfectly loved and accepted just as God created us to be. It's only when we don't accept this Truth that we start to become irritable, enraged, angry, and defensive. It's the reason we get frustrated when people don't listen to us, when we feel replaced or rejected, when we don't get the attention or recognition we desire, or when relationships don't turn out how we'd hoped. All of these are small messages that seep into our mind and spread the same lie: you are not loved . People cannot give us the validation that only God can give us, so it would bode us well if we stopped expecting them to and turned our sole attention to God. For it is through Him that we get all capacity to love, forgive, have compassion, mercy, and grace, and all things good. How do we expect to love others if we don't first accept the love of God into our hearts?

This dare wasn't that hard for me. I think most of the spiteful things I say are out of fun and not to hurt others. There are other times, however, when I am irritable and rude words might come out, or some form of passive-aggression, and those are intended to control others' behavior. I have learned that controlling others is in vain and completely futile. Not only that, but it is irritating to be on the receiving end of a controlling person, so why inflict that on somebody else? All we can do is focus on fixing ourselves and learn to love others, despite their faults. Saying rude things will not make them change; in fact, anything hateful will only produce more hate. Speaking of, Day 6- Love is not irritable . This will probably be the hardest for me thus far. People can be downright irritating sometimes. They can be difficult to get along with, hard to please, untrustworthy, project their problems onto us, don't meet our expectations, don't always accept us or see

So initiating social engagements is not normally my forte. I am a naturally independent soul who can spend all day alone without giving a second thought to calling or texting somebody. It usually takes deep loneliness for me to finally reach out, and even then, I have a tendency to wallow in my pain without contacting somebody for moral support. I rather enjoyed this dare because it showed me how easy and fun it is to be the initiator, if only to say hi and let someone know I'm thinking about them. It is strengthening to a bond when the other person knows that you care, and it forces me to get out of my own head. What a relief! Moving along to Day 5- Love is not rude . Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around. To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating. Rude behavior may seem insignificant to the person doing it, but it’s unpleasant to those on the receiving end. Test yourself with these questions:

Sometimes listening attentively is the best gift you can give others, and that's what I set out to do with my accountability partners last night. It's easy to get frustrated when others aren't listening, and when you stick three women together, there's bound to be many interruptions and lack of listening. I made it a point to listen attentively and not get angry, even if I couldn't finish a statement without being interrupted a thousand times (which I was). And you know what? I walked away feeling refreshed, fulfilled, and connected. I get tired of thinking about myself all the time. When we are so focused on ourselves, it's easy to get down. But when we start giving to others unselfishly, all that depression and loneliness magically strips away. God is the only one who is meant to fulfill us in the first place, so if other people aren't doing "their job" of satisfying our needs, well it wasn't really their job in the first place. On to Day

What better day to show kindness in love that on Valentine's Day?!!! I chose to do this dare with my very own roommate by making her a handcrafted Valentine Card (with handmade confetti hearts!), and she totally loved it. It felt good to make someone else happy, and doing something nice for others forces one to think outside of ourselves, which is what makes the world go round. I'm startin' to dig this whole Love Dare thing. :) Moving along to Day 3- Love is not selfish . Here's a few snippets from the article: You either make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself. You can’t be acting out of real love and selfishness at the same time. Ask yourself these questions: • Do I truly want what’s best for those around me? • Do I want them to feel loved by me? • Do they believe I have their best interests in mind? • Do they see me as looking out for myself first? Those are some good questions to ask ourselves. As for myself, I think I am more worried about h

My friend Nicole always tells me that love is our most natural state, and any time we think a negative thought about another person, we are throwing ourselves off balance and moving further away from our most authentic self. The love dare for Day 1 wasn't particularly that difficult for me, since I try my best not to say negative things to people (other than occasionally teasing someone out of fun). On the other hand, it is extremely difficult for me to not think a negative thought. Usually upon waking up, my thoughts begin flooding me immediately and can go from zero to negative in a matter of seconds. It's important to have verses of Truth to counter them with because it can easily wear on one's mood if you don't. So instead of "biting my tongue," I decided to "bite my thoughts." There is that occasional moment, however, when I am stuck in a situation with a difficult person and want to defend myself or spout off something spiteful, so in those m

Some of you may have heard of the book The Love Dare , which comes from the movie Fireproof about marriage. I wrote a blog on this awhile back, but only today did I finally pick up the book and start skimming through it. I was originally perusing it for a friend who is struggling through a marriage, but as I started reading it, I realized that the advice it gives is great for anyone who deals with people on a daily basis (which is everyone, of course, except for hermits and gamers who live in their mother's basements). In light of Valentine's Day, I am going to embark on this little Love Dare journey with the people around me. If you want to do the Love Dare with me, you can find it for free on this website . I encourage you to read through it because it has some powerful stuff about love in there that can apply to anyone, not just a significant other. If you feel that any relationships in your life are struggling, dare to do the dare with me. Maybe in 40 days, you'll s