Journey of a Thousand Miles

It's late at night, and I don't even know if I'll post this blog, but I just want to seize this moment and reflect on some things. I'm really lucky. I'm lucky where I'm at in my life right now. I'm lucky that I'm taken care of, even though I have no job. I'm lucky that I'm able to pursue my passions and still have money to pay the bills. I'm lucky to be living in a very beautiful city, even though I left my family behind. I'm lucky to have such a supportive family. I'm lucky that God directed me to where I am today and didn't leave me in the flux I was in. I can only imagine what kind of person I would have been had I never left my comfort zone of Houston. I don't even want to think about it because I know she wouldn't have been happy. She would always be wondering 'what if?' But I don't have to wonder that because I did it. I moved out; I struck out on my own, just like I promised I would. And I am still on

I prayed for God to give me what I need, and He delivered. Sometimes what we need isn't always what we want, but in the long run it is always better. I always learn things the best in hindsight. There have been many times in my life where I didn't get what I wanted, or maybe I did, and it didn't turn out exactly as I planned. But somehow, things worked out in a way that I got exactly what I needed, and sometimes that is a swift kick in the pants. I know that's how things panned out for me. I experienced this dilemma when I first graduated college and started looking for a job. I knew what I wanted but not what I needed. I kept praying "God, please give me this job. I need this job," but God had a better plan. I went a few months without a job when I first got my degree. I was living at home with my parents, my loans were coming in demanding to be paid, and still no income. I had big dreams of what I wanted to accomplish in my life, and it seemed that

Life and I are starting to become great friends. Through my process of recovery, I have been spending some time in the Word and reading about suffering. In the past, I have had a bad relationship with suffering. Actually, I take that back. After alot of bad things happened to me, I started to believe that God was punishing me, that I had done something wrong to deserve the bad things that happened to me. I grew a huge guilt complex that carried me through college and then into the real world and the more bad things that happened to me, the more I believed I deserved it and started to expect bad things to happen to me. Needless to say, suffering grew a bad name with me. So I started to read about suffering in the Bible and realized that Jesus did alot of suffering too. Alot of godly people in the Bible did alot of suffering, and that’s when I realized... suffering happens to good people too, it’s part of living in a fallen world, and none of these people were being punished by God.